Should I Consider a Divorce or Marriage Counseling?

marriage counseling or divorce

Ask Shanna Moakler what decision she made

You find someone you are interested in and you date for a while. Things seem great, so you get married. And then things change almost as fast as playing the scary maze game. You are not alone. Many people find that marriage changes over time.

There are many ways that people get to this point. Lack of communication tops the list. Without communicating clearly to each other about feelings and concerns, a marriage can become mechanical.

Talking about the things that are going on, such as financial concerns, expectations, having children, how the children will be raised, and a host of other topics will keep you and your partner connected. You start to think of what’s happening to this relationship. Will it be divorce or marriage counseling?

You will feel like you are working toward the same goal. The paths you take to get there can be different, but reaching the goal together is what is important.

Trust is also a factor to consider when marriage changes. Honesty is perhaps the most important aspect in a relationship. When the initial spark turns routine, when looks have faded, trust and compatibility are all that remains. Read more ›

Posted in Communication

When is the Silent Treatment In Relationships A Good Idea?

the silent treatment in relationshipsIn relationships, it can sometimes be a little difficult to handle some situations. The topic of whether or not to speak your mind can come up and the answer is not always clear. Using the silent treatment is something that can both help and hurt the situation, but the key is choosing when is the best time to use it.

While there are positives that come about from it, you also have to know about the negative effects that can come from it as well. Knowing about both can help make the right choice when the question of whether or not use it comes about.

Let’s start with some of the negative effects of using the silent treatment. One of the biggest problems with using this as a method of handling a problem is that the other person may feel that their opinions do not matter. Read more ›

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Posted in Communication

Is the Silent Treatment Necessarily a Bad Thing?

silent treatmentMaybe the silent treatment isn’t such a bad thing sometimes.

In 1995, The Fugees remade Charles Fox’s song, Killing Me Softly, and lyrically reminded the world that it is not always the loudest knife that cuts the deepest.

Sometimes the absence of sound becomes unbearable, and to break an uncomfortable silence people will say anything to fill the void. On the other hand, in the heat of a moment people say things that they may spend the rest of their lives wishing they could take back, but things can never be unsaid.

As we learn more about our partners, we also sadly become much more skilled at twisting the knives that cut the ones we love the most the deepest. Read more ›

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Posted in Communication

When to Seek Out Marriage Counseling

marriage counselorA marriage is a sacred thing, a promise between two people dedicated to nurturing and growing the love and respect that exists between them. The bond of matrimony strengthens over time, matures and enriches both partners in their journey through life.

It may be smooth sailing all the way through life, full of romance and good times, but even the most loving couples find obstacles. But not all people feel that way about marriage and seeing a marriage counselor.

Both parties of the marriage are aware of the promises made at the altar but people change, the growth can alter the path that has so tightly united the couple, spiraling one or both of them down a new avenue. Marriage counseling becomes a necessary consideration, a process to reconcile and remind the couple of why they came together in the first place and to bring clarity to the situation.

Hopefully, all of the love and hard work placed in the marriage can find new life, new reasons to continue, or reminders of the original reasons they were so much in love. The specter of divorce may raise its head but the marriage counselor will explore many other paths before suggesting this. Read more ›

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Posted in Communication

How Do You Know You’re in Love?

How Do You Know You're in Love?You may be asking yourself, “Am I in love?” How do you know you’re in love?

Some young children, even at the age of four, five and six, may think that they are in love with each other, and may even tell people that they are some day going to get married, but the older generations might just sit back, laugh, and brush it off thinking that they are only children and what do they know?

These feelings are often referred to as puppy love. These children grow up and enter junior high school where they develop even more feelings that for one reason or another, they think is love. At this age, they are learning about things like feelings, broken hearts, hormones, and even puberty when they get rejected for one reason or another. Read more ›

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Posted in Maturity